A film, silly — her Louise days are over. A tipster says he saw Susan Sarandon working on a film at Wyckoff Heights Hospital on Wyckoff Avenue and Stockholm Street here in Bushwick. Anyone got photos or more info?

Taking pains not to be libelous, I will use quotes, paraphrases, and links to describe the completely incorrect claims of Prudential Douglas Elliman Broker-Associate Janet Corona of the firm’s Flushing, Queens office. I will also document all of her ridiculous threats against me and this website.

It all started quite innocently when I posted about the new condo being currently built out at 326 Melrose Street here in beautiful Bushwick. Commenter Jimmy Legs summed it up: the post “reported the fact that the listing is on Trulia, the links don’t work to PDE [Prudential Douglas Elliman], and that when somebody called the listing agent office they were informed the property was sold out.” (We have since found out that the development is called Lumbini Garden…for some reason.)

But the comments descended immediately into farce when Janet Corona wrote in, in a businesswomanlike ALLCAPS, claiming among other things that an “ugly investigation” has begun. In a later comment, she threatened to file complaints at the Realtor Board, an organization with which this website has no affiliation, and the Department of State. The charges? Unauthorized real estate advertising. Janet Corona makes this outlandish accusation throughout the comments thread, seeming not to understand that this is not the website of a real estate agency. Frankly, there is nothing at all in the post which could lead a sane and reasonable person to believe such a thing. It is clearly NOT a real estate listing and certainly NOT an advertisement. That costs money, Janet honey.

Janet Corona showed up over the course of the day to berate and insult the commenters, one of whom I happen to know may have been a client. This is not the way to win friends and influence people. The fact that Janet Corona — after several of these insulting, baselessly accusatory posts — asked potential clients to call her demonstrates her seeming complete disconnect from reality.

Furthermore, since there was no commercial purpose to the use of the artist’s rendering of the building, its inclusion in the main photo constitutes fair use. Even if this were not the case, we are certainly within our rights to use a photo taken by my own camera — a right which Janet Corona disputes.

The only question left to ask is what kind of developer would hire such a person to represent their property to the buying public? The answer is North Star Enterprise NY, LLC. If they are interested in selling this apartment, they need to find someone who attacks her potential clients — and makes an embarrassing spectacle of herself in public — a bit less.

Know what might have been nice, Janet? If upon finding this post, you had posted or emailed something like:

“Hi! My name is Janet Corona and I’m the listing agent for this property. I’m sorry about the confusion you encountered trying to find information on it. Can you let your readers know they can contact me if they have any questions? Thanks!

“Janet Corona
NY Broker Associate, NJ Realtor
Prudential Douglas Elliman
Direct: (917) 957-9961″

Yes, that would have been quite nice indeed. This website would have complied with cheer!

Instead, Janet Corona upped the nutso ante by sending an email full of threats, indecencies, and questions about our honesty (not to mention more unstable allcaps, excessive exclamations and misspellings) to BushwickBK.com, which I will now quote in its entirety:

“YOU GUYS ARE IN HEP OF POOP

“YOU WERE NEVER GIVEN PERMISSION TO ADVERTISE MY EXCLUSIVE LISTING WITH OUT MY CONSENT OR THE OWNERS. YOU NEED TO REMOVE 326 MELROSE FROM YOUR WEBSITE A.S.A.P. THE COMMENT MADE ABOUT THE PRUDENTIAL AGENT WAS INAPROPIATE.

“IF ANY ONE NEEDED INFORMATION ABOUT THESE UNITS THE AGENT WOULD ( IF YOU CALLED A PRUDENTIAL DOUGLAS ELLIMAN AGENT) YOU WOULD HAVE BEEN REFERED TO ME!!!!! THIS LISTING IS AN EXCLUSIVE LISTING FOR MY OFFICE AND I’M THE EXCLUSIVE AGENT SELLING THESE CONDOS.

“Janet Corona
NY Broker Associate, NJ Realtor
Prudential Douglas Elliman
Direct: (917) 957-9961″

Janet, my darling, your career, full of “inapropiate” screeching at potential clients, is in a “hep” of OVER. “Refere” that to the Realtor Board.

I was sure these guys were gonna get hurt yanking this huge, untrimmed dead tree down TOWARD them — thankfully, they were more skillful than I expected.

(Today is my birthday, and I am going to the demolition derby on Sunday to celebrate.  Ha ha, yes.)

More ethereal realms from the Menahan Street Band. Another awesome Daptone Records Project:  this band is a collaboration of musicians from Sharon Jones and The Dap Kings, Budos Band, El Michels Affair, and Antibalas.  Producer Thomas Brenneck brought the groups together and they record in his Menahan Street apartment.  Download the track Make the Road by Walking here.

Usurping our western neighbors crown. Hrag Vartanian’s recent piece for the Brooklyn Rail explores Bushwick as “breakaway republic”, “brave new world”, and this moment as “a form of prescience.”

But we were just gettin’ to know ya! After a (very) short-lived stint in Bushwick, for undisclosed reasons the boys from Bushwick Social Club are outta here.  They had a weekly party at the Kingdom for a little while, and a well-designed blog that linked to our culture calendar and other such goodies.  Bye guys, thanks for the memories.

Drawing on the Utopic. Austin Thomas, artist and director of Pocket Utopia, a nice little gallery on Flushing, started a new blog with colorful observations of the utopic world around her.

A large painting featuring two lambs, an owl, plenty of skulls, and several bathtub rowing super-heroes (I think) was put up yesterday on the brick wall of the New York Garment Washer’s building on Jefferson St. and Wyckoff Avenue, right outside the Jefferson L street station. Here’s what was on the wall before that. I don’t know whether the building owners knew if the piece was going to be put up, although it wasn’t a stealthy operation: my friend saw artists setting up the wall with massive sheets yesterday afternoon. I prefer this to a Barack Obama mural but wonder how soon it will be until it gets tagged over with stuff like that annoying “you go girl” phrase.

My butt has been charting new territory in my jeans. I bike a fair amount, walk a ton, eat well, but as 30 approaches, my body is exploring the outskirts, and that’s not cool.  I asked around, and got a glowing review of a neighborhood gym for women that costs only $10 a month.  Cheap and close were my two main criteria, and this place passed with flying colors (signature yellow, pink, and red, to be exact).

Lucille Roberts, the gym version of Joyce Leslie (that may only make sense in my head), is located on Myrtle and St. Nicholas Ave in Ridgewood. It is a quick bike ride for any ladies off the Morgan through Myrtle stops on the L and some J folks as well.  It’s got all the machines you need (ellipticals, bikes, treadmills, weight training, etc…), plus a ton of room for stretching ,and classes (included in the price), my favorite of which is the Butt and Gutt class which I try to attend bi-weekly.

Patrons are a diverse crowd of women of all ages, and the mood is supportive, amiable, and fun.  What I like best is that my schedule allows me to go during the day sometimes, and during those hours it is practically empty. It fires up around 5:30pm when many of the classes start, and when daycare hours begin (yes, they offer free daycare for kids while the moms work out). Lucille Roberts herself was a daughter of Polish refugees and grew up in East Flatbush.  She built her gym mini empire on the mantra: “know your customer.”  She realized that ” the woman who might have two kids and two jobs was an ideal health-club member.” The gym is indeed set up for women without a whole lot of time or money. It’s super cheap, there is no cafe, no sauna to lounge in, and the workout classes are basic and pack a punch.  Yoga is not on the class schedule.

Though the place could use an aesthetic makeover, it is always clean and they seem to be big on quality control. I witnessed a visit from who I think was the Lucille Roberts VP (a tanzilla workoutaholic in very white pants), having a strongly worded conversation with the managers about loose threads in the carpet, and an invisible leak in the ceiling.  One quote I remember: “It’s about the difference between right and wrong!”  For my $10 a month, that’s more consideration than I would expect.

PS: okay, so once I saw a woman put a burrito in the water holder of her treadmill and chow it while working out.  That is all I am going to say about that.  It’s mostly a great place where women of Bushwick and Ridgewood go to feel healthy and get that butt to behave.

Lucille Roberts
54-32 Myrtle Avenue
Ridgewood, NY 11385
718-628-6262

Can you believe it’s almost August? Where is summer ‘08 going? Luckily it looks like there will be some sun and plenty of culture to soak up this weekend. Friday night get uber local and enjoy ecologically themed art and “filtered rainwater and sprouts grown on site” at Nurture Art’s Demo Eco M.O. opening, and then dance the night away (and perhaps enjoy a glass of the new chalkboard rosé) at NK Lounge with DJ Jeremy Russell. Saturday, I suspect that some of you Bushwick music fans will be headed to Coney Island for the annual Siren Festival this weekend — lots of Wickity faves on the bill (Parts & Labor?! These Are Powers? Awesome). If you’re sticking in the hood, check out Todd P and Colin Mathew’s lineup at Silent Barn featuring Usaisamonster and Vialka from France (the “Turbo folk micro-orchestra”). Sunday, 3rd Ward is hosting a carnivore’s dream BBQ, er, Pig Roast with eats by Tom Mylan from Marlow and Sons, Diner and Bonita, live bands, badminton and a Klezmer dance party. Sounds like a full weekend, culture vultures. Jess & I will both be out of town missing it all, so please fill us in on the stuff you see and hear!

7/18 — Demo Eco M.O.
Nurture Art
910 Grand Street
Opening reception: 7-9pm.
Free.

7/19 — Usaisamonster, Vialka, etc.
Silent Barn
9-15 Wyckoff.
Early! 7pm (& no ins & outs after midnight)
$7

7/20 — Pig Roast extravaganza
3rd Ward
195 Morgan Ave.
4-9 PM.
Free.

Strange thing, this new condominium development at what I think is 326 Melrose Street: nobody seems to know anything about it, but it continues to be listed on Trulia, with several units from 299-399K. The link to the Prudential site still doesn’t work after several weeks. The agent we contacted claims the property has been sold, which seems wrong considering it can’t possibly have a certificate of occupancy yet.

What’s the deal with this place?

86 Cooper is a completely trashed two-family at the far end of Bushwick. The block itself is actually quite leafy and somewhat well-kept, and pretty convenient to both the L and J subway lines. If you have the know-how and extra scratch to fix a place up, you could unlock a bit of equity from this cute little house that’s just down on its luck. The price is certainly right.

86 Cooper Street | $349,900
1800sqft | 20ft-wide | 2-family, 5br/2ba | frame
Wilson L/Chauncey JZ

$2000 — 3br: Here’s your chance to live on one of the best blocks in “Greater Bushwick” — a beautiful, bow-front apartment full of original details and modern amenities where they count. New kitchen and bath fit right in with old moldings. There’s even a crystal chandelier. Check it out!
Stockholm and Onderdonk | street view | DeKalb L

$1500 — 1br: Awesome details in this huge-looking apartment on Bushwick Avenue. Walk-in closet? Weird, but cool. Maybe it used to be a bedroom? There’s an open house Friday from 2-5pm.
Bushwick and Suydam | street view | Myrtle JMZ

$1775 — 2br loft: I have always liked red kitchens. This big loft in the Tea Factory has lots of red, and lots of space.
PETS OK | Stockholm and Wilson | street view | Central M/DeKalb L

$1200 — 1br: Cheap, convient, clean. 1″.5″ bedrooms — make of that what you will.
DeKalb and Wilson | street view | Central M/DeKalb L

$1250 — 2br rr: There are still places available at this building on the park. Great location, guys, and the renovation is passable.
Starr and Knickerbocker | street view | Jefferson L

from the wtf file: It’s a nice apartment, a bit far from the action — but you get a free ipod nano if you rent this place.

Bushwick wannabe: You’re way off, buddy — by about half a mile.