$1850 — 3br: Love this apartment: cool old details, nice light, one short block in the right direction from Hernández Park, Bushwick’s central square. Whichever building this is, it’s certainly something beautiful and brick. And Chimu Express is practically right downstairs!
PETS OK Hart and Irving DeKalb L

$1600 — 2br: Looks pretty big and you get the basement, which has a half bath. It even says “private patio” which could be the back yard paved over…? Decent renovation.
PETS OK Suydam and Central Central M/Myrtle JMZ/Jefferson L

$875 — jr 1br: I don’t know why this is so cheap, but you should go find out. Great location.
Suydam and St. Nicholas Jefferson L

$1100 — 2br: Can’t beat the price for a real two-bedroom. It’s at the end of the world but not in a bombed-out neighborhood. It says it has a new kitchen but curiously, there are no photos. Seems worth checking out.
Cooper and Knickerbocker Wilson L

$900 — studio: Nothing more really needs to be said. But it’s a decent-looking place and has those cool old parquet floors.
PETS OK Bushwick and Greene Gates J

A few weeks ago I heard rumors of a vegan bakery planned for the new storefronts on Bogart and Moore. The other day, I got a tip:

“One of the vans moving things in was from ‘Red Mango Bakery,’ and even the van smelled like a delicious coconut treat. I really hope they’re setting up a shop. I could go for some baked goods RIGHT NOW.”

I saw the van, too, but thought maybe they were delivering to Roberta’s or the Archive. It turns out that a new place called CakeWalk will be opening in the middle storefront. It is billed as a “a vegan pastry bar and vegetarian cafe.” Angela Pickman of Red Mango assures me that all the products taste just like the animal product-packed confections us traditionalists crave. “If you ate it without knowing its vegan, you’d never know!”

The cafe menu will definitely be meatless. It will take an artist to create a selection varied enough for everyone to enjoy, but CakeWalk seems up to the test.

There’s no exact opening date as it depends on completion of renovations. Stay tuned!

CakeWalk, 43 Bogart

Behold…the Arctopus, by コーヒーぶっかけ男

[Pete heroically steps in for Anna this week. Expect more from him in the future. –J]

I decided to check out the Behold…the Arctopus show at Silent Barn Friday night with a few friends. As it was a pretty long bill, we had planned on showing up around the conclusion of the opening band’s set, hopefully just in time to catch Animal. Thinking we could achieve this goal if we arrived at around 9:30, we headed up to Ridgewood and grabbed a slice at Henry’s Pizza on Myrtle (ever notice how the most nondescript pizza joints have the most amazing slices? I don’t have the data to prove it, but I believe it is a direct correlation.)

We arrived more or less at the hour we had planned, but the first band, Maw, was still setting up. Turns out it was a good thing our fashionably-late entrance didn’t work out, however. If it had, we would have missed out on an impressive set of some tight instrumental thrash metal. It’s always great to discover a new band, and after the set I grabbed the band’s 6-song CD-R for only a couple dollars.

Animal, up next, played an intensely complex brand of high-speed free-rock in the vein of Tera Melos, Don Caballero, or Hella. Remarkably (especially once you hear their sound) they are a two-man outfit, consisting of only a guitarist and drummer. They spent a lot of time in what appeared to be free-form improvisation, which I largely enjoyed; though the constant noodling bordered on tiresome at times. Dead Child was a change of pace from the first two bands, playing a relatively straightforward style of riff-based heavy metal. A bit of a throwback. (Think Master of Reality-era Sabbath.)

Krallice was by far the act that impressed me the most. Made up of members of Behold… the Arctopus and Orthrelm, they hit the crowd with a constant stream of fast black metal /screamo, full of tense melodies and sparse on vocals. I’m dying to get ahold of these guys’ debut when it comes out in July. By the time Behold… hit the stage I was a bit worn out, so my mental notes are a bit lacking, but I will say these guys are clearly masters of their instruments. They play some insanely technical stuff with what appears to be such incredible ease. All in all, a great show.

“Color added” — St. Mark’s and SB Kraus

Changing Tastes:A Bushwick brewery is repurposed by a Chinese immigrant to expand his dumpling empire.

The Pope’s Slipping Grip: Ex-Chief of St. Barbara’s explains the Church’s influence on the spending of State money in order to keep congregation numbers — and Church profits — from slipping over time. Talk about public-private partnership. Or is that corporate welfare?

Shul, I’ll Fix Your Pipes: I can’t figure out exactly where on Knickerbocker this is, but I will be keeping an eye out. The fading ad on the side is for plumbing, but the concrete lintel says…something in Yiddish.

East Wburg Exists: Look, Graham Avenue can legitimately be called East Williamsburg. The crossing out one place name in favor of the other, or the staged stutter — “Bushwick — er, East Williamsburg” *wink* — is TIRED. Only the most clueless real estate agents say East Williamsburg when they mean Bushwick anymore. Anyway, don’t ask for a cup of water at the Dunkin’ on Graham. I know, you were gonna, too.

Tough Crowd: Haven’t had your dose of shitting on Bushwick? Here ya go. Enjoy the comments.

Through the last year, every time I dug up a part of the back yard, I cursed the former owners. “Why is there so much garbage tossed back here!?” Luis tried to reason: “Maybe they didn’t pick up the trash for a certain period?” We have asked many people from “back in the day” and nobody seems to have a good answer.

Now that it’s spring, I’m cleaning the yard with renewed intensity so that we have something more to enjoy by summer. Always keen to find old labels and stuff, I snatched this up out of a pile of glass and old carpet, and dusted it off. It was a medicine label from a local pharmacy, from 1983. I didn’t recognize the name as that of anyone in the family we got the house from (they had been here since 1970). Then I realized the address is from the building two doors down. I had been blaming the massive mess on the owners of the house — why would they do this to their own property???, we constantly ask the wind. I was amazed they could even generate this much trash. It now seems that for 30 years, the lovely neighbors have been flinging their household trash into yards all around here. This jibes with contemporary stories of (and my own experience with) neighbors tossing trash over fences.

There is still plenty of trash that cannot be blamed on the neighbors — tens of shower curtains (they seem to have had a fetish), acres of shag carpet, an entire truck’s drive shaft — but it’s clear to me now that they may have just given up under the wave of trash and decay forced upon them by the times.

I still don’t have the whole answer, but the more evidence I find and people I talk to, the more I realize just how bad it was in Bushwick in the 80s.

Jessica and I are taking a weekend off of the culture beat (leaving Bushwick — shocking, I know) and I wanted to throw in a little shout-out to some local artists.

I love this mustachioed skull and had to document it. There was another fan taking pictures at the same time. Check it out on Wyckoff at Starr.

Art Party

4/25 — Benefit for Free Arts NYC+Afterparty
Ad Hoc Art, 49 Bogart Street. After Party at Wreck Room, 940 Flushing Ave.
7-10pm (benefit). 10-? (after party)
Local gallery Ad Hoc Art is hosting and supporting a silent auction to benefit Free Arts NYC, and to celebrate the launch of Brooklyn Street Art, a new book of photographs by Jaime Rojo, and designed by Steven P. Harrington. The auction will include 25 works by well-known, emerging, and yet to be discovered artists who know no boundaries and follow no rules—their artistic turf is the public gallery of the Brooklyn streets. The artists, whose work animates the pages of this new full-color book, are donating their original or editioned works to be auctioned off, with all proceeds from the winning sales going directly to benefit Free Arts NYC’s creative arts and mentoring programs for at-risk children and families in New York. After party at nearby Wreck Room featuring DJ Mojo, Stay High, projections, sign spinning, and last but not least, Jimmy and the Wolf Pack (think Louis Prima meets the Ramones). (visit: Free Arts NYC)

Music

4/25 — Ryan Sartin and Jett Drolette present: AFTER DARK
The Bushwick Starr. 207 Starr Street
9pm sharp. $5.
Drum legend (and Northeast Kingdom super-star server) Freak Orlando, along with bass, guitar, keyboard and lead vocal marvel Mink become the band COLUMBIA at their debut performance this Friday. Witness their magical inauguration as they “strip down to a sweaty, arty, funky, pop collision that takes NoWave sensibilities and tempers them with a proto-punk artiness without a lot of usual drivel or nonsense.” Also playing this post-dusk party, are experimental sound artist Nic Xedro, and “new genre” scholar and noteworthy artist Georgia Sagri. Georgia’s work is performance of spectacle. One is never quite sure what to expect. Nic’s singing/performance style is that of a classic rock front man, or rather “a stuttering shadow of the archetype.” He is accompanied by self written and produced music tracks that are funky and cold as a Berlin discotheque. It’s going to be a party for the people. The Bushwick Starr is in full effect for spring/summer, having just opened their envy-worthy roof deck where you can see the city from a pleasant distance, smoke if you still do, or hide, if that’s your thing to do at parties. It’s also a rare and exciting chance to dance till dawn with the entire NEK staff. Phoebe rocks. (Thanks to Jett for the insider info which I barely or don’t paraphrase above.) (visit: The Bushwick Starr)

More Music

4/25 — Behold… the Arctopus + Krallice + Animal + Maw
The Silent Barn. 915 Wyckoff Ave.
8pm. $tba.
People, are you going to Silent Barn? Because seriously, there have been some ridiculously good shows there of late, and I’m concerned you’re as lazy as me. Go. Behold… the Arctopus is a reigning local metal band, but with their recent full-length, Skullgrid, their Brooklyn rep has gone international. New black-metal outfit Krallice teams BtA’s Colin Marston and Orthrelm’s Mick Barr. Opening bands are 2-piece post-rock Animal and thrash metal Maw. Go. (visit: Todd P)

Salon

4/26 — Salon @ Collision Machine
Collision Machine. 97 Wyckoff Ave.
4pm until the cows come home.
Collision Machine is a salon event put on by the folks at D&S Knitwear (a loft housing six artists). They bring together artists across all disciplines, and open their space to them providing an opportunity to come together and exchange ideas, seek feedback on finished pieces, works in progress, and build a community of artist peers. Check out their list of participating artists. Expect live art, live music, and late night dancing. (visit: Collision Machine)

The curve on that chart is so high I can fit a pic of Vito under it!
(Chart from Federal Reserve paper on demographic shifts in wealth [pdf])

Your moron State Assemblyman and local political boss Vito Lopez has a bill currently rotting in Albany that would extend rent stabilization from buildings with a minimum of six units to those with three, but just for tenants over 62. It has no co-sponsors, of course, because the other Assemblypeople aren’t retarded and/or don’t have any interest in helping Vito cement in his constituency of poor people that he can whip into a hysteria and then lead to the voting booths.

Here’s the, um, eloquent “justification” of the bill:

“Senior citizens need to be protected from landlords who increase their rent to proportions beyond their financial means. The elderly should not be penalized for living in dwellings, which consist of six units, or less. Presently, the law stipulates that rent stabilization may be granted to senior citizens residing in dwellings containing more than six units. Most senior citizens are presently sustaining themselves on a fixed income. This bill would prevent excessive rent increases and harassment about eviction from landlords because the tax rebate acts as an incentive.”

Vito. Did you plagiarize this from someone’s ninth-grade civics class paper? That’s not nice.

But seriously, it’s 2008 and the government is still pitting the various (somewhat arbitrarily defined) classes against each other? I understand divide and conquer, I just think it’s vulgar and out of place in a liberal democracy.

Some facts:

*When prices rise, it is not a punishment. In fact, it is a mechanism by which scarce resources are more efficiently allocated. I’d be interested to find out whose moral compass is used to determine “excessive” rises in rent.

*More senior citizens may have a fixed income, but that does not mean it’s a low one or that they are not wealthy. In fact, senior citizens are the wealthiest segment of society. It would be rather perverse to transfer yet more wealth from a less-wealthy demographic to a wealthier one.

Why is an overly complicated regime involving tax breaks and more regulation being proposed when the government could just subsidize the rent of the seniors instead of — oh wait, I forgot to put on my scheming power-hungry politician thinking cap on. More employees to run more bureaucracy means more voters and political machine cogs for Vito!

You got it all squared away, huh, Boss?

“We heard two-family houses Bushwick are down 3% this year. Lame. We’re outta here.”
Yoinked from tamisevens’ flickr stream

You don’t realize how many mistakes reporters can make until you read an article about your own neighborhood. It’s probably inevitable that someone from outside would get a few things wrong. So when Claire Levenson, in the Real Deal, says Maujer Street is in Bushwick, we forgive her. It’s when she says things like “many old buildings have not been restored” that we might get a bit annoyed, considering how many old buildings have been and are being restored.

I object to the assertion that Bushwick has “fallen prey” to the real estate price downturn — more people are moving to Bushwick than ever. More things are slated to open than I can keep track of right now. Real estate agents — no, hell, almost everyone, thinks that a neighborhood’s fortunes are tied directly to real estate values, but that’s only a post-2000 bubble idea. Park Slope began gentrifying in the early 80s, if not earlier. Brooklyn has been steadily improving and upscaling in parts for decades. South Beach has steadily cleaned up over the last 20 years, through two real estate busts. All of this ignores that the vast majority of people moving to Bushwick right now are renters, who don’t care what houses sell for.

The rest of the article is a jumble of price per sqft and quotes from brokers. Snore. Let’s get to the part where info I gave the reporter was used without acknowledgement!

“Construction has started on Troutman Gardens, a 140-unit condominium by developer Mayer Schwartz, who built [sic] the Opera House lofts in East Williamsburg [sic]” and “There are also new developments and conversions on Jefferson and Troutman streets…” are pretty much from my fingertips, the first from a post I wrote, the second directly from me to her after she emailed me for info. Bloggers are really shit on by journalists, huh? Go ahead, grab all the info you want without citation! It’s a free-for-all.

Anyway, the article has a bullish tinge to it. Bushwick is no worse for any wear, and lower prices mean more and younger people can afford to buy. We’re just getting started here.

$900 — studio: You know how I like cheap! If you don’t mind the train going by your living room, this place is great. Wood floors, good details, looks like you could even hang a curtain and make a bed alcove in the back. Rents are going up again, it seems, so if you can land this, you’ll be sitting pretty for a while.
Broadway and Halsey(?) Halsey J

$1400 — 2br: Very cute, bright two-bedroom with french doors and wood floors. It’s not a “diamond in the rough” — the immediate area is just fine. It has one of those narrow little alcoves that jut toward the street that I can only imagine being good for putting plants. Cool anyhow.
Harman and Cypress DeKalb L

$1290 — 1br: Love this: the renovation is sort of in sync with some of the original details. Tin ceilings, wood floors, exposed brick, etc. Good price and right near Goodbye Blue Monday.
Broadway and Lawton Kosciuszko J/Myrtle JMZ

$1650 — 2br: Nice place, I guess this is in that line of old brick buildings on Thames that never got knocked down for warehouses. “Brand new everything.”
PETS OK Thames and Varick Morgan/Jefferson L

$1600 — 2br: Cool old tub and fireplace, great light, owners live downstairs. That must be why the whole thing is carpeted. Great block with lots of big trees.
Eldert and Broadway Halsey J

LOFTS: For those looking for lofts, here’s a building with a bunch.

Bushwick wannabe: Ehhhh, the sound of the buzzer means Stuyvesant avenue is in Bedford-Stuyvesant and not Bushwick.