I happened to be in Tribeca last week and stumble upon (I swear!) the J. Crew shop that was to exclusively carry the Bushwick faux vintage t-shirt. I browsed for a few seconds before a chipper associate swooped in to ask if he could help me.

“Yeah,” I said, ” Do you have the Bushwick shirt?”

Chipper associate, in a flash, lost his smile and and his eyes narrowed. “No…we’re out.”

“Were they yanked?” I asked innocently.

“Uh, no, they sold out like two weeks ago.”

“Okay, thanks,” I said, noticing the other “limited edition” faux vintage tees sold exclusively at this store were still quite healthily stocked on the shelves.

A source tells me the CEO of J. Crew, Mickey Drexler, is very hip to buzz, and it would not be unthinkable for him to have ordered the merchandise off the shelves after the whole world made fun of it. I’m sure we’ll never know.

Ellie Frye of Bushwick, inspired by her Japanese counterparts.

I mostly see them by the Morgan stop, since those kiddies tend to be younger and more… ridiculous? than those of us on the other side of Flushing. It’s actually an odd combination of styles — the fat bearded ripped-t-shirt slob look and the dainty ruffled “lolita” look might share a relationship. Don’t wince as the cute young girl gets swallowed by those walrus jowls — that’s just a kiss. What is with the girls in the lace and frills — and are those goths I see? And is that a goth-lolita combo?? Yes to all.

Allegedly, lolita fashion is becoming popular across the country, as well as goth and that Marilyn Manson in-between look. Nowhere is that more apparent than a stroll down the industrial fringes of Bushwick, If you’re not convinced it’s hot now, well, Phaidon has a book about it. Now what?

A tipster sent me this lameness: J. Crew has a “limited edition” t-shirt from an imaginary “Trophy Tavern” at the nonexistent address of 259 Bushwick Avenue, adorned with a motif reminiscent of that of real-life restaurant Northeast Kingdom. What would possess them to create such a cred-less product? What would possess someone to buy it? Do I have to be a frat douchebag to get the appeal of wearing a shirt with a fake bar on it from a place one has never been? Because nobody who lives in Brooklyn would be caught dead in this — especially not for $52.