Okay, since my tipsters will not relent, I will post for Bushwickers to enjoy: omg look a porn casting call in Bushwick! It’s fine that you have pushed me to this, because now I get to say this is clearly just some silliness written on the spur of the moment on the back of a flyer (hello, you can see the print on the other side!) and posted on a lark. Professional pornography producers do not operate in this fashion. Trust me. If it turns out to be real I promise to work as a fluffer for free for the top five guys in the signup sheet, sorted for length/girth. That’s how fake I think this is. *cough*

Bonus: apparently Gothamist has decided that the Morgan L area is indeed in Williamsburg.

“We heard two-family houses Bushwick are down 3% this year. Lame. We’re outta here.”
Yoinked from tamisevens’ flickr stream

You don’t realize how many mistakes reporters can make until you read an article about your own neighborhood. It’s probably inevitable that someone from outside would get a few things wrong. So when Claire Levenson, in the Real Deal, says Maujer Street is in Bushwick, we forgive her. It’s when she says things like “many old buildings have not been restored” that we might get a bit annoyed, considering how many old buildings have been and are being restored.

I object to the assertion that Bushwick has “fallen prey” to the real estate price downturn — more people are moving to Bushwick than ever. More things are slated to open than I can keep track of right now. Real estate agents — no, hell, almost everyone, thinks that a neighborhood’s fortunes are tied directly to real estate values, but that’s only a post-2000 bubble idea. Park Slope began gentrifying in the early 80s, if not earlier. Brooklyn has been steadily improving and upscaling in parts for decades. South Beach has steadily cleaned up over the last 20 years, through two real estate busts. All of this ignores that the vast majority of people moving to Bushwick right now are renters, who don’t care what houses sell for.

The rest of the article is a jumble of price per sqft and quotes from brokers. Snore. Let’s get to the part where info I gave the reporter was used without acknowledgement!

“Construction has started on Troutman Gardens, a 140-unit condominium by developer Mayer Schwartz, who built [sic] the Opera House lofts in East Williamsburg [sic]” and “There are also new developments and conversions on Jefferson and Troutman streets…” are pretty much from my fingertips, the first from a post I wrote, the second directly from me to her after she emailed me for info. Bloggers are really shit on by journalists, huh? Go ahead, grab all the info you want without citation! It’s a free-for-all.

Anyway, the article has a bullish tinge to it. Bushwick is no worse for any wear, and lower prices mean more and younger people can afford to buy. We’re just getting started here.

A guy writes into Gawker wondering if he should take an apartment from a landlord who uses tough tactics to boot regulated tenants, even though he won’t be a victim because he’s paying market rate. The Unethicist takes it upon himself to answer the question…sorta. Wait, no he doesn’t answer it.

I say “don’t take it!” because though he won’t treat you like dirt for having ridiculously low rent, he will make you miserable in other ways yet to be determined. Trust me, the yarmulked set will always find a way to screw you out of money. If he shuts people’s water off, he will definitely at the very least wait until the last legal second to refund your deposit when you move out in order to get every penny of interest.

That’s not really an ethical take, it’s a practical one, and so doesn’t answer the question. Poor guy.

Anybody have an ethical take on the question?

On the Bed-Stuy blog last week was a huge thread of comments sparked by Petra’s complaint about her friend being ticketed for riding his bicycle on the sidewalk. With the exception of the couple of assholes roboting in humorless monotone that “the law is the law,” most people shared their experiences with the NYPD in quota-making heat. I was shocked at how many people were victimized, the vast majority for stupid garbage like being on the bike to cross the sidewalk from the stoop to the street, or for swerving to the sidewalk to avoid — that’s right — a cop car parked in the bike lane.

I’m so used to scoffing dismissively at complaints of racism, but when you read some of these comments, it’s impossible to ignore. Cops treat people like dirt for no reason other than they can. There is literally no recourse. If a cop wants to spit on you or curse at you or talk to you like a child, he can. What are you gonna do about it? He’s the one with the gun, and the huge system behind him to back him up in his power trip that he’s fantasized about since he was the middle school bully.

And to all those who are getting ready to reprimand me for questioning the cops — for example, “we’ll see how much you hate the cops when they save you from being mugged” — how about just shut the fuck up ahead of time. Save yourself the embarrassment, you’re ridiculous and your jingoist spluttering is as pathetic as that of the president defending his decision to blow up Iraq. The day a cop saves me from jack shit, I might possibly, though doubtfully, reconsider. All I have ever gotten from cops is harassment, and I am white and have no record. I can’t imagine what a black guy with a petty criminal record from when he was 16 must tolerate from these cocksuckers.

I mean really, when is a cop around to actually stop crime? Giuliani and his boosters have elevated the post hoc ergo propter hoc into a religion — Rudy’s administration “doing something” no more ended crime in New York than FDR’s barbaric policies ended the Great Depression. A decline in criminals and crime due to the waning of the crack “epidemic” and, well, gentrification, were some of the main drivers. Ticketing jaywalkers, hmmm, not so much.

Cops just clean up the mess after. They’re not as stupid as you may think — they’re not about to patrol dangerous areas to be heroes, they’re gonna ticket non-threatening dorks on bikes and then maybe later go in a pack to an after-the-fact crime scene to put on airs of self-importance and possibly remind you that you “need” them. And god forbid one of them harms someone without justification, as there’s no punishment to be meted out whatsoever. I mean, cops aren’t even legally required to respond to calls. What the fuck do we even pay those fat slobs for? We’re not even allowed to have weapons for self-defense. It’s the cops — if they feel like responding — or nothing, and too many times in this city, it’s nothing.

Really, so far my experience with cops in Bushwick is bizarre, creepy propaganda plays, a group of mourning kids being arrested on dubious grounds, more confidence-seeking propaganda, and arresting hipsters for drinking on private property where they live. I have yet to hear of a crime actually being stopped, but plenty that went unstopped. My argument is not that we need more cops. Good god, what a nightmare that would be. No, rather, I think we should fire the whole lot of them and get some Wackenhut up in here. Then we will be their clients, they will have no union to protect them from us, and they can be fired for fucking up. Ever heard of a rent-a-cop blowing a kid away who held a hairbrush in the air? No, but seriously, cops suck and a new system is needed, one that is more realistic, one where crime is stopped on the micro level by old ladies with 9mms in their pocketbooks.

So. *cough*

Anyone been the victim of NYPD on their bike in Bushwick?

All photos by Jennifer Hess

The phrase “Last Night’s Dinner” might not at first glance evoke anything appetizing, but grow up, huh? — it’s just what Bushwick local Jennifer Hess calls her blog about what she made for dinner the night before. What’s impressive, besides the gorgeous photos of her food, is that it’s updated every weekday. But which came first: Is it because she makes amazing dishes every night that she can feature them, or does the spotlight force her to make such stunning grub?

Sharing her creations with the world seems to be a passion: she sometimes pauses in her preparations to (presumably) wash her hands and take a photo of her progress. And it’s not all dry ingredient lists — we’re treated to lush descriptions of the cooking process as well as how the final product tastes. We’re sometimes taken on what Jen calls a “food safari“: a weekend trip to hunt for the next week’s meal ingredients.

I’m particularly fond of a post from last week: on el Dia de los Muertos (a holiday her Mexican relatives never observed anyway) she chose to honor her still-very-much-alive grandmother, instead of the customary dead.

Mike Dietsch is a guy. His blog, A Dash of Bitters, is white with black text. He talks about booze. Despite the aesthetic starkness, he’s got a way with words and makes his posts about this liquor or that — it’s not the most exciting subject in the world — truly engaging and even charming.

The blog is suffused, like Jen’s, with personal details — note the post mentioning Bushwick’s own delightful liquor stores, snug and secure behind a layer of bulletproof glass. I also recommend a review of a book on moonshine, complete with a tale from his father about being chased out of a Kentucky town at the point of a shotgun for suspected involvement with the homegrown terrorist organization, IRS.

As someone who has supped upon and imbibed the products of this food power couple, I can vouch that they’re not all talk. Reading their blogs and visiting their home makes me a little envious of the life they lead together — wine with dinner, a gourmet meal every night. Food safaris! I need to get my act together. And you need to add their blogs to your list.

DeKalb and Cypress. Is it Bushwick? Is it Ridgewood? Is it BOTH? *head explodes*

A few people sent me this bit from the New York Times‘ insipid “City Room” blog: Is Ridgewood the New East Bushwick? Fucking gag me. Nothing could be more expressive of the Times‘ complete disconnect from most things non-Manhattan than their inability to grasp the concept of modern Bushwick. (Except maybe thinking an address in downtown Brooklyn is in East Williamsburg.)

I’m going to spell it out simply for them: a loft building that is a 3-second sprint from the Brooklyn border, filled with the same types of people who live in Bushwick proper and the part of East Williamsburg also colloquially considered to be Bushwick, is, for all intents and purposes, Bushwick. Yes, it is politically in Queens. The sum total effect of this political difference is that to pick up a package from the post office (do people still use USPS for packages?), they have to go to one in Ridgewood instead of in Bushwick. That’s about it.

But not so fast, Jennifer 8, much of Ridgewood may not be considered Bushwick. It depends on the block, and it will certainly depend on what the future holds for the neighborhood. As of right now, Ridgewooders are not all cozying up to Bushwick. It seems a neighborhood defined by the people who actually live there and not based on some arbitrary line on a plat book is too much for a proper reporter, albeit one assigned to the journalistic equivalent of latrine duty, to fathom.

Poking fun at neighborhood relabeling is tired. Will the Times think it’s just as clever when it inevitably announces Glendale to be East East East Williamsburg? Oh the smarm will be so thick, won’t it just?

I’m only one man, I can’t do it all. If you are a good writer and have interest in blogging on a site that, for various reasons, now has over 400 visitors a day and growing, please send me a sample of your writing (or a link to your current blog) at jeremy .at. redfit .dot. com. I would LOVE for people in South Bushwick (South of Myrtle), Wyckoff Heights, and Ridgewood to contribute news, views, and photos from their neck of the hoods. You will definitely have an audience.

UPDATE 9/3/07: I would also love to have an art and music correspondent, to post a roundup of blog posts about Bushwick art and music as well as to write their own posts about the arty, musicky, and hipstery goings-on in Bushwick.

I’m going to keep bumping this every so often.

Photo by Steve Reed

I think it’s funny when hipsters from an earlier generation, many of them among the first to begin moving to places like the East Village in the early 80s, finally make the trip out to that place past Williamsburg they have been hearing so much about. Steve Reed made his trip of discovery this weekend, and aside from his confusing Flushing Avenue with Flatbush Avenue, and expressing the bafflingly common belief that Flushing runs north and south, made some strange observations.

The photo he has posted as representative of Bushwick is very much not. It looks more like Puerto Rico than Nuyorico, with its pristine violet stucco and wood-and-iron door. Where the hell is that?

“Drivers had the salsa music cranked up LOUD. It reminded me so much of Miami.” I hear more salsa in Whole Foods than I do on the streets of Bushwick, where melody-challenged reggaeton rattles my windows and sets off car alarms. I guess he had a lucky visit.

Welcome to Bushwick, Steve — I have a feeling that once you can no longer stomach East Village rent we’ll be seeing you around a lot more.

UPDATE: D’oh! Turns out that the post below the photo wasn’t about the photo. Anyway, enjoy the really pretty building. Sorry if anyone was unduly excited.

Know what I’m sick of lately? Activist types showing up here, getting all up in our faces about our part in advancing gentrification — or at least that we don’t weep enough about gentrification. The worst part is that for all their many hundreds of words on the subject, they can never seem to get any real ideas across. They’re infected by vapidity and are crammed full, top to bottom, with empty rhetoric. It’s hard to even look sometimes.

I had actually been somewhat avoiding the subject of gentrification, mainly because whether we debate it or not, it’s inexorable, a given. I didn’t see the point. What little bits I let slip as I otherwise walked on eggshells here brought me nothing but whining and hate posts. So you know what? Fuck it. I’m putting down the shield I use to bounce weak anti-gentrification spitballs back at their launchers and pulling out my bazooka — and I’m taking no prisoners.

Take, for example, poor Katie. She’s a volunteer at Make the Road by Walking, every Bushwicker’s favorite two-million-dollar-a-year protest organization. She’s a freshly-minted college liberal on a mission to “combat inequality in all its incarnations.” Aw. But it seems after Round One, she’s been KO’d. What a disappointment. more »

And finally: the New York Times. No big deal for Brownstoner or Curbed. Big deal for us. I’m happy to share my section of the article with BedStuyBlog, though I don’t remember saying I was “thrilled by the arrival of Bed-Stuy Blog in March” since I’m pretty sure it existed before I even moved to Bushwick…oh well. Another bit absent from the article is how upon being asked about the Brooklyn blogging “community,” I stuttered for a bit before saying something to the tune of “I don’t get it. I blog about my neighborhood, but I’m not really sure what it means to be a ‘community.’” Maybe I’ll get it at the Blogade Greenpoint Meetup. Anyway, it would have just mucked up a great fluff story.

For the record, I have absolutely no idea what the title of the article, “Cracker-Barrel 2.0,” means. I’m sure it has something to do with my deep literary ignorance.