One of the first times I took the J train out to the Halsey station, one of the many reasons I felt like I had stepped off the map was the station itself. All the stations prior to it (and after it if you get to Broadway Junction) have decorative colored glass panels adorning the platforms. Halsey had no such thing, favoring beige-painted solid walls, interrupted only by a small section of chain-link fencing at one end (and there’s probably some code thing that insists on this). Because of this disparity, Halsey seemed especially forlorn, like the MTA just didn’t care enough about our little stop.

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Chauncey Street balcony houses. See more from this set>>

I went on the latest BCUE walking tour of Bushwick, this time focusing on the southern tip of the neighborhood. Bushwick Specialist Adam Schwartz (of Up From Flames fame) led some 20-odd folks around, getting down to the Trinity Cemetery and up to Irving Square Park, going through the side streets along the way. I’m not sure if the route was selected for this purpose directly, but we went by some lovely homes, and not the kind of thing I would have expected.

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‘Twas an exhausting weekend, in which we, you know, actually did stuff instead of lying face-down in a pool of vomit, as on most weekends. No, this weekend we were downright productive! Saturday we dragged ourselves out to the Bushwick Walking Tour. We were a little late and had not committed the map to memory, so we couldn’t find the tour for a while. So we conducted our own walking tour as we plodded around in the hot sun. After consulting Jeannie’s sister over the phone, we backtracked until we found the group. Now I really wish I had made it to the South Bushwick tour from last month, I bet it had a lot of info that would have been useful to somebody who lives there (me). Saturday’s tour was very informative, and really underlines just how different the two poles of the neighborhood are. I’m pretty jealous of some of the stuff up around Maria Hernandez Park, like the multiple produce markets and bakeries.

There was one weird moment when a young white woman crossed our path and seemed incredulous that people would want to tour Bushwick. She walked up to us and said something like, “What are you up to? I’ve never seen you around here before.” I honestly thought she was a shill planted by the organizers to foment a conversation about the necessity of learning about one’s environment, etc., but the longer she went on the more I believed her. She expressed disbelief that there was anything worth seeing around the area, then complained at the lack of amenities like coffee shops and the like (why is everybody so obsessed with coffee shops?) It was pointed out that she lived not three blocks from several cafes and restaurants and yes, a coffee shop; she was unaware of any of this. She also declared the M train was the worst train in the system, which I find at least slightly dubious.

If she was for real, I guess that’s the type of newcomer that long-term residents find especially disconcerting; they come here for relatively cheap rent even though they’re still probably paying lots more than their older neighbors, and they don’t really have any conception of the neighborhood, nor see any need to. All that matters is how long it takes to get to Manhattan. Maybe I’m wrong about this woman, but it sure makes me understand the worry that longtime residents feel they will be steamrolled in the mad rush to cater to people who can afford not to give a damn.

Flickr Album: Bushwick Walking Tour
Related: Up from Flames: Mapping Bushwick’s Recovery from 1977-2007

$650,000 | 3-family | 49 & 51 Linden Street | map
These two houses have been for sale for the past year, I don’t know what’s wrong with them but they have great terra cotta and brick facades, and a wee bit of original detail inside from the looks of it. They both are 3 families, but would probably work best as owner’s duplex and floor-through rental. I believe part of the reason these have not sold is that the owner wanted to sell them as a package deal for 1.2 million. Nobody bit so they’re being sold separately for $650K apiece. This is how much they wanted last year, which I felt was too rich for my blood, but it could very well be a lovely house. It’s on the block of Linden between Broadway and Bushwick Ave, which is really beautiful (ask Kevin!), and although these houses look out onto an uninspiring apartment building, they’re right around the corner from some of the best mansions on Bushwick Ave. Far enough down the block that J train noise should be too bad, and the Gates station lets out right on the corner of Linden. PShark (49) PShark (51)

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$599,000 | 2-family | Weirfield & Central | map
I can’t figure out exactly which house this is, I think it’s between Central and Wilson, which makes it a bit of a hike to either J or L trains on Halsey. But it could be a real find for people into detail (and those weird wooden archway lattice things.) The price is officially $599K, but it says the building “CAN BE DELIVERED FULLY RENOVATED” for $649K. I guess it’s nice to have the choice, and I suppose they’d give the buyer some control over how things get fixed up. But it also makes me thinksome stuff in there must be really messed up for them to offer to fix it.

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$599,000 | 3-family | 66 Bleecker Street | map
I like the looks of this house on Bleecker Street because it’s so out of place. It’s a peaked-roof cottage affair squeezed between 6-family frame houses, facing a bunch of low-rise new construction on the other. Despite the way it looks here, Propertyshark lists its square footage at 3300! The building is 22′x50′ for a whopping 1100 sf per floor, plus what appears to be a windowed attic!. But this is misleading, in photos the house doesn’t look any more than 30 feet deep, with an extension on the back that awkwardly adds another 20 feet, but doesn’t appear to span even half the width of the building. On the plus side, there appears to be a shed in the back yard! Gotta love satellite photos. PShark

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$525,000 | 2-family | Bushwick
Somebody buy this sad little house! It’s been on Craigslist forever, I think people are turned off by the Flintstones facade. It’s another one of these “2 family with 3 apartments” conundrums, and the listing helpfully adds that you “can build additional floor.” Why not?

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$1,150,000 | 3-family | 751 Bushwick Ave | map
Everyone’s favorite mansion is still available! Looks like the local brokers have all agreed on a price of $1.15 million (somebody had been offering slightly less recently but I don’t see the listing anymore). It’s all up to you, lil’ lottery ticket. PShark
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Sarah Kramer/Brooklyn Paper

On the Map Dept: I live on Eldert Street, a 6 block long stretch on the south side of the Shwick (let’s get all the kids to start calling it that!). My end of the block is residential, rowhouses and an elevated train. Children run around the block and participate in activities that can only be described as “wholesome.” They roller skate (with or without those shoes with the wheels in the back), jump rope, bike, play basketball, pick broomsticks out of the trash and hit each other with them. It’s been pretty startling to see kids act like this, I thought kids just sat in front of the TV all day, absorbing Fritos and Hawaiian Punch while watching reality TV shows about people starving themselves. What I wanna know is, how do these nice little kids transform into the surly teenagers who hang out further down the block?

Anyway, that’s life on my end of Eldert Street. On the other end there is an old knitting factory building that’s been converted to loft apartments. The industrial side of Bushwick somehow made it this far south, seemingly only along the L train. The building at 345 Eldert is full of artists, and apparently a group of them are trying to get financial backers so they can buy their building from its management company. If successful, they will have a huge space in which the artists call the shots. Nice idea, I guess, but are they serious? The article in the Brooklyn Paper isn’t clear how much of a joke this is, but the accompanying photo doesn’t lend a whole lot of credibility to their crusade. They need some kind of venture capitalist to provide the dough to buy the place, who’s gonna do that? This sounds like the 21st century version of the “Let’s put on a show!!” type stuff from the 70’s and 80’s. I hope they pull it off, though I’m pretty sure this isn’t the first time anybody thought of this (”Hey, we all live here, we’re all into the same stuff, let’s buy the building!”), but I dunno if anybody ever actually went through with it. Aren’t there any wealthy, eccentric philanthropists anymore?

Still, the notion of a gaggle of artists trying to run their own building … shades of Lord of the Flies? Speaking of which, are you aware there’s gonna be a reality TV show in which a group of children live in the wild without adult supervision? See what the kids on my street are missing out on?

Crossposted from JimmyLegs.com