We’re not in South Florida anymore, Niko.

I think of my house as a little bit of Miami in Brooklyn. There are four of us in here from the Magic City, and depending on who’s home, the stairwells smell of bistec empanizado and tostones, and fear not — someone will hook you up with something made of guava or tamarind, or the magic cheese that does not melt even when thrown in a frying pan.

The Changeling’s post about Broadway on BedStuyBlog today made me realize I hadn’t yet mentioned in these pages that there is a major outpost of Miami fast food here in Bushwick — Pollo Tropical. Housed in a freakishly-converted old brick commercial building (the upper half seems to be still abandoned!), it’s like a beacon of familiarity for us in this land of fried chicken, tacos, and different-enough-to-be-strange (though delicious!) Puerto Rican food. It’s a chain that makes Cuban food pretty well, very fast, and relatively cheaply. They sell all kinds of Caribbean food — apparently — but I’m not there for Jamaican jerk chicken, which they clearly only sell because of the likely local clientele. I want pork and rice and BLACK beans, please; I only eat red beans if Haitians touched them first.

The “Tropichop” is their BigMac or Whopper: a big bowl of all the staples. The chicken version is not so great, but the pork is awesome. Their maduros are always flawlessly caramelized outside, creamy and ripe inside. Their yuca is always perfectly frita, golden and flaky outside, soft and spongy inside, the better to soak up all that mojo (garlic, olive oil, OJ). Their desserts are okay — prepackaged flan and tres leches leave much to be desired, but hit the spot if you don’t mind a bit of partially hydrogenated petroleum oil and monosodium poisonate (Simpsons ref).

When we found out the only New York location was down the street, we rushed over there and pigged out until we had to undo our pants to breathe. It’s no Versailles (that’s Ver-sigh-yes), but if you need a big dose of Cubanidad, head to Broadway and stuff yourself full of the closest thing.