Bushwick has an incredible, free STD/health clinic.

No fancy double entendre headlines on this one. It’s about as simple as that.

I don’t want to brag, but this author has been to so many free clinics in his 31 years, that finding a clean, efficient clinic in the heart of his hood was a pleasant surprise (lived here for 18 months, before Greenpoint, LIC, LES — NYC for 9 years).

I like to get tested once a year if I’m not in a relationship. As a sexually active hetero male, the motivation is the responsibility to the lovely ladies that I engage. Being the uninsured American, I’ve had ample opportunity to survey the free STD clinics of NYC…

And I have got to tell you:

The LES STD clinic was kind of shady back in 2000, located on Ludlow Street, SE corner of Delancey (probably got moved because of the ol’ gentrification — and in fact I think it was a community outreach and not the city’s). When I went there it felt more like a poor person’s living room, with masonite walls and grubby carpeting. They took my blood and the sticker sucked –- I mean, how hard is it to drain blood without leaving a fucking black and blue mark? My veins are awesome too. There weren’t many people there though, which always helps. (I actually saw a guy throw himself off the roof of the building about a week later after he found out he had the HIVs… I mean –- he hung there for about 30 minutes while cops tried to talk him down, before he let himself go. Another story altogether.)

Besides the LES, I went to the Chelsea STD clinic 3 years ago and it was the WORST EVER. I have never been cruised by more gay men who were clearly HIV-positive in my entire life. The wait was horrible, the staff was minimal, the prostitutes were plentiful –- I mean, whores coming in right from work. I heard they renovated it but it still looks like a fucking prison -– and you can feel the diseases trying to get into you while you wait in that gross room. I thought I left with something I didn’t bring in! Ninth Ave between 27th and 28th if you want to be really punk about your shit.

But let’s face it –- you don’t go and do this without washing your hands a million times throughout the experience no matter where you go…

Unless you go to 335 Central Avenue where the staff are AWESOME and friendly and helpful. It’s the cleanest, best free clinic and they offer all kinds of stuff. I got my Hep B vaccine. Free. I didn’t even ask to see a doctor and they plopped me in front of one who asked me about my habits, took some time to talk to me about general mental health, and then looked at my junk to make sure I didn’t have anything growing on it.

How awesome is that for Bushwick? Hooray for Bushwick Free Clinic.

STD Services, Emergency Contraception, Hepatitis B vaccine, Hepatitis A vaccine for high risk patients, Hepatitis C screening for high risk patients, HIV Counseling and Rapid Testing.

Bushwick Clinic | 335 Central Avenue | 718-573-4820
Mon-Fri 9-4 (closes at 12pm every last Wed. of the month)
1-800-825-5448 – NYC free health clinic info line