Are you a writer? Would your life be different right now if you had known, back in high school, what being a writer and living in Bushwick would really be all about?

A fictional venture of smallGRAND Productions, the Real World Writing Camp promises concerned parents to “pair your child with a writer so miserable, she won’t so much as look at a novel again.” Their campground? Bushwick, “home to the country’s highest concentration of unemployed, unpublished MFA graduates.” The truth hurts.

If the kids fail to be turned away from their calling, at least they’ll start their career armed with valuable secrets of success like yelling at Amazon and being named Jonathan. Alternative income streams are also explored, to which might be added, if this idea becomes reality, signing up to disillusion a young writer. See, that degree is good for something.

The writers include unpublished failures – some living in the old knitwear building turned artists’ lofts on 6 Stanwix Street, judging by the exterior shots – but also published local celebrities like Jonathan, author of The Women in Montana are Quiet (winner of last year’s Barnes & Noble Discovery Award!) The “success story” package costs extra, though, and is only for the most stubborn cases.

Go on, forward it to your parents. You know they’ll laugh even if you didn’t.