Notes from Bushwick

One would probably not expect much drama to arise from a site which concerns itself largely with restaurants, art exhibitions, and community gardens. Nonetheless, BushwickBK has the most drama-prone readership of any outlet with which I have ever been associated. There is no way to discern what this means for Bushwick itself; our audience is obviously self-selecting, and our commenters even more so, and matters are confused further by non-residents who post as well. But to the extent that a regional outlet’s commenters reflect the nature of the region, a good number of our neighbors clearly need to calm the fuck down.

A few months ago, I wrote a piece to the effect that Life Cafe charged too much and was aesthetically irritating to boot; this prompted a 72-comment fight concerning Life’s desirability as a local staple and my abilities as a writer. Likewise, it prompted the owner to reduce prices on some items. This was probably the only thing I’ve ever written that has resulted in some actual positive effect on the world. And for the most part, the comments were understandable.

Later, though, Hrag Vartanian, one of this site’s more thoughtful critics, provided a fine overview of the most recent Bushwick Biennial. But he neglected to mention a certain installation, this being a mobile trailer filled with plants and park landscaping, and he consequently drew the wrath of the artist herself. The piece, noted creator Kim Holleman, was so "cutting-edge" and local as to merit a mention. "It was also built in bushwick over the course of one year, ON THE STREET by a bushwick artist who is TEN YEARS strong in bushwick proper," noted the deranged harpy. As Holleman notes on her website, "Trailer Park is a site of paradox. It is nonfunctional, yet completely functional in its repurpose… By going inside, you will be able to go outside. A mobile metaphor and transcendent experience." Oh, absolutely! Likewise, Vartanian’s stated desire to see street art in a gallery was clearly that of "the typical white guy who wants graff[iti] to somehow be ‘counted’ inside a world where it doesn’t belong," at least according to a white female who presumably did a stint with the Latin Kings before moving on to conceptual art.

Then there was, of course, the bike affair, whereby contributor Diego Cupolo’s account of his beating at the hands of some would-be thief prompted more than 450 comments, most of which were insane. These fell into several categories: racists who held this up as proof that the local blacks are animals and that liberal whites will all soon be torn to shreds in an ironic uprising of violent natives; non-racists who thought otherwise; anti-cop sentiment; pro-cop sentiment; fascist comments by anonymous NYPD officers; apologies from other anonymous NYPD officers for the fascist sentiments of their colleagues; debate over who perpetrated 9/11; challenges to fight; attacks on The New York Times; unhinged advice to Diego that he ought to launch a punitive strike against the pair of neighbors who failed to render aid (from me); and comments to the effect that muggings are bad.

Most recently, a generally positive review of the opening of The Hibachi Tiki Hut, also by Diego, prompted a somewhat more critical comment by Bushwickitywack that the place was still rough around the edges; co-owner Lorien Flinn responded with a comment of her own that several of the problems would be addressed soon and further suggested that bushwickitywack might be too poor to appreciate the menu’s better offerings and too fat to have been comfortable in the resident booths. She later apologized.

The point of all of this is that I demand more comments. Also, lol, clip show.

Notes from the Outside World

* It amazed me that there were actually people within the fold of the Democratic Party who looked at John Edwards and said, "That’s the guy. Let’s make him president." Yet the populist douchebag was always hovering around 12 percent during the primary, which just goes to show how easy it is to fool southerners. One of Edward’s supporters whom he happened to be fucking as well seems fairly representative of the rest; it is now reported that he told the ugly woman with whom he had the affair that, just as soon as his cancer-stricken wife died, the two would be wed in a rooftop ceremony presided over in part by The Dave Matthews Band. What a stupid bitch.

* Watch this whole thing.

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