Here’s another installment of Barrett Brown’s “Freelance Wasteland,” logo forthcoming. Check out last week’s piece.
Notes from Bushwick
It would probably be best if Hunter S. Thompson had never lived, or, rather, if he were to be kept secret from certain people, such as those who want to write like Hunter S. Thompson.
I myself have encountered here in Bushwick some half a dozen young males who had gotten it into their heads that, by virtue of having done a few drugs and perhaps gone on a wacky road trip one time with their kooky friends including one totally craaaaazy guy they met in college who was always doing craaaaaazy stuff and was totally a huge druggie and once smoked a joint, like, just walking down the street in broad daylight, man, that they would thus write a successful book. Perhaps they would weave in some politics by way of dialogue, such as when they arrive at a friend’s house the next state over and split two grams of shrooms between the five of them and talk about how Cheney is the antithesis of the American dream.
One fellow actually handed me a manuscript of this sort and asked me to read it. From what I could tell of the single scene I read after having promised to read all of it, the characters were doing the whole talking-like-real-people-talk thing with regards to sex and relationships, and then they discussed selling a hit of ecstasy to somebody. Later, there was some driving.
I occasionally wrote crap of this sort when I was 18, stupidly exuberant, and starting out as a freelancer. It’s a fine thing that these articles are no longer accessible via the web, because if they were I’d have to kill myself, and that’d be even more cliché than the other stuff.
Notes from the Outside World
A lot of people other than me should be killing themselves over Google.
Among the nation’s many institutional failures that have risen to obviousness over the past decade, there is one that may be pointed to as having been partly responsible for all the others, but which will nonetheless never be addressed by the American punditry as a whole. This failure is that of the American punditry as a whole.
I’m not referring here to the most egregious and well-known examples of the manner in which failure is rewarded in the realm of professional political opinion; anyone who’s been paying attention is aware that William Kristol spent much of the past decade filling his columns and television appearances with predictions that turned out to be dead wrong, but that he was nonetheless provided with additional columns in both Time and The New York Times even after his failures had become undeniable. The incompetence of the hard right in dealing with facts and the indifference of the moderate media in dealing with the hard right is no secret to anyone except those among the hard right, who remain convinced that the liberal media is out to get them and will tell you as much in their columns, themselves duly published by outlets of the liberal media.
What has gone less noticed even among the well-informed, though, is the widespread incompetence of many of our nation’s most respected left-of-center columnists. New York Times staple Thomas Friedman, for instance, won the Pulitzer for commentary back in 2002, and his several books are fairly ubiquitous features among the nation’s more expensive, wood-paneled bookshelves. He has meanwhile developed into something of a hero among upper-middle class moderates, leftists, and even some conservatives, together finding themselves in rare agreement concerning Thomas Friedman’s alleged talents as a chronicler of the world and related subjects.
Friedman does deserve some credit for having managed to cloak his mediocrity for years and in full view of millions of newspaper readers. But as I recently demonstrated at greater length, it takes only a few minutes with Google to reveal that Friedman couldn’t predict a menopausal chick’s period. In 2001, for instance, he called on the American citizenry to "keep rootin’ for Putin," whom he described in glowing terms as a positive force in Russia’s struggle to adapt free market policies, transparency, and the rule of law. This is not just a ridiculous prediction of the sort that takes years to disprove; it was demonstrably ridiculous at the very moment when it was written, by which point Putin’s fascist tendencies had already been on display for years (as other, more competent analysts had already pointed out, Putin was almost certainly involved in orchestrating the 1999 Moscow apartment bombings, a probable false flag attack intended to provide Russia with a casus belli against Chechnya, which it subsequently re-subjugated with typical viciousness). He stated several months into the ongoing U.S.-Afghanistan conflict that he had "no doubt, for now, that the Bush team has a military strategy for winning a long war," objected to the idea that Afghanis were concerned about civilian casualties, and proclaimed early in 2002 that "the Taliban are gone." And, of course, he called on the Democrats to start thinking "seriously" (Friedman-speak for "hawkishly") about Iraq lest the party "become unimportant." This was in 2005. And there are dozens of similarly assertions to be found among the poorly-written annals of Thomas Friedman. This will not deter The New York Times from providing him with a platform from which to infect the American reading public with his nonsense because the editors of The New York Times simply don’t give a shit.
Also, just look at the guy. Look at him. He’s all like, "Hey, let’s have a dialogue!"





Diego July 13th, 2009 at 1:39 pm
Agreed – Hunter S. showed us how a writer can acquire rock star status, something especially uncommon for a someone who started as a sports journalist. The idea of becoming famous simply by telling stories of how you got messed up is very appealing to people because it seems easy. Problem is Hunter was a talented writer, not just a junkie, and there was purpose behind his work – unlike most of the imitation garbage you talk about in your post.
Dresden July 13th, 2009 at 2:04 pm
I always thought I was copying off of Bukowski.
Melinda Letzky July 13th, 2009 at 2:42 pm
I’m surprised this hack writer could be an expert in anything. How old is he–19?
K July 13th, 2009 at 6:06 pm
Friedman’s not anywhere near as annoying as Paul Krugman.
miked July 13th, 2009 at 6:46 pm
well krugman can be annoying but hes usually more accurate
angry guy at the archive July 13th, 2009 at 6:49 pm
1. you remain a terrible writer. really really awful. protip: bad writers do better when they stay away from the topic of writing. meta ain’t your thing dogg. part one is about bad writing and part two is about bad commentary. what is this, bring your own irony day? i’m dyin here man, seriously. you are doing serious damage to your google results, and a true friend would stage an intervention.
2. what is this, larry king’s column in usa today? pls outline first next time. topic sentences would be great.
3. to the ed: is having your one non-bushwick-oriented regular feature be an utterly inane opinion column by a guy with no talent in the genre an intentional dig on the neighborhood? i have seen more trenchant political commentary in midday cloud formations.
careful July 13th, 2009 at 7:54 pm
Nah this is great.
whatever July 13th, 2009 at 10:58 pm
Isn’t making fun of Friedman Taibbi’s gig?
http://www.nypress.com/article-11419-flathead.html
YES July 14th, 2009 at 12:18 am
WOa, angry guy is right on. What the hell is this ? How about you critique hipster psuedo journalist wannabe burnouts on a BLOG or something ?
to the ed: it’s just a bit strange to have notes from a city hall meeting and then this ? this represents what people in bushwick hate about their new neighbors
Dresden July 14th, 2009 at 6:45 am
Are you angry because the Archive coffee sucks so much? I would be too. Go to Orwell bro.
K July 14th, 2009 at 6:51 am
Krugman isn’t more accurate! He specializes in hyperbole and selective omission. He has no nuance at all. He sucks the complexity out of almost everything he touches. Considering his professional background I find this extremely offensive. And I don’t care if the venue is the NYT opinion page. It’s no excuse as far as I’m concerned. He should be ashamed of himself. And I suspect his ability at predicting the future is no better than Friedman’s — but who’s checking…? As far as I know Friedman has always been a journalist, or, more specifically, a pundit. And besides that he seems like a better, nicer person. Krugman seems like an annoying crank who wishes we still lived in the 1950s.
I think the article is a really nice read. I like Mr. Brown’s writing.
Professional Alternative July 14th, 2009 at 8:21 am
YES is clearly the same person as “Angry.” How sad. Summary: “You’re a bad writer because I say so 4 different ways. protip: u suck!”
toomuchdowntime July 14th, 2009 at 9:09 am
this is a terrible read. not sure about this site anymore.
Dresden July 14th, 2009 at 11:05 am
It’s outta place. Barrett’s jerking off and acting like he’s not… at least when I jerk off you know what I’m up to! ha ha.
YES July 15th, 2009 at 2:43 am
no, im not angry – tranquilo . but really, this has no merit as a piece of “semi-professional” journalism. im no sure what bushwickbk is considered though so excuse me
Andrew July 15th, 2009 at 11:34 am
Puh-lease, it’s obvious that angry guy, YES, and toomuchdowntime are all the same person, and I would venture to guess, associated in some way with Life Cafe. Bitter much?
Cherlip Princeps July 16th, 2009 at 10:23 pm
AND HE DIDN’T EVEN TALKD TO TOM FRIEDMAN!!!1 WGAT KINDO FO REVIEW IS THISZ?!?!!
Jon July 17th, 2009 at 5:12 pm
“Professional Alternative” is clearly the same person as “Andrew” and I think we all know Barret’s nickname is Andrew. This is a terribly written article. Notes from Bushwick doesn’t mesh with Notes from the outside world at all and leaves the reader wanting to start a Send Barret Back to School scholarship.
“Among the nation’s many institutional failures that have risen to obviousness over the past decade, there is one that may be pointed to as having been partly responsible for all the others, but which will nonetheless never be addressed by the American punditry as a whole.”
Really??? The first paragraph??? This website is a poor representation of Bushwick.
Professional Alternative July 17th, 2009 at 5:31 pm
Glad we’ve had an entire panel of writing critics stopping by to give us “protips” on Barrett’s piece. Frankly, there’s is a lot of poorly written things on this site, which at times is pretty amateurish, but it’s not owned by a huge corporation and pays crap, so it’s to be expected. But why not shit on that writing, which is so much worse than this allegedly is? Because Barrett offended the Holy See of Bushwick, Life Cafe, an overpriced hipster trash dump with too much black beans.
Jon July 17th, 2009 at 6:46 pm
The reason we are “shitting” all up on Barret’s chest is because he comes off as self-righteous despite having any discernible right to be so. When he starts his piece complaining about the terrible writing he sees in Bushwick (who are I’m guessing his only readers), and says that he too, was guilty of such immature prose in his naive youth, but has since changed his ways and would actually kill himself if those pages somehow surfaced, then proceeds to write terribly, he not only makes himself look like an ass, but Bushwick’s only culture blog along with him. Why BushwickBK has given this guy a weekly platform from which to blast our eyeballs, and indeed our faces, with his juvenile and atrociously written op-ed diareah is beyond me, but it makes me want to take a shower.
miked July 19th, 2009 at 1:55 pm
you should take a shower then
angry guy at the archive July 29th, 2009 at 8:32 am
i am going to go ahead and take credit for killing this feature.
Professional Alternative July 29th, 2009 at 8:55 am
Guess Barrett got intimidated. Well he made me laugh.
Douchekowski July 29th, 2009 at 10:36 pm
Came upon this blog because someone ripped it apart on Gothamist. Now I’m here to say that this “feature” is so over-the-top horrendous that I’m actually driven to move my fingers over a keyboard to say something about it when, in fact, the thin line of drool that’s hanging from my lip is really all the commentary this woefully sophomoric garbage post deserves. Please, leave the writing to the pros and leave Bushwick at once.
Douchekowski July 29th, 2009 at 10:45 pm
Woah! Sorry… let’s walk this dog back a little. I’m a writer, or at least fancy myself one. A true writer doesn’t choose writing as a profession, (s)he’s compelled by it. This being said, we should all be a little more forgiving when someone bursts onto the scene with no experience and offer a little constructive criticism rather than grief. I’ll recind my past flare-ups and bid you adiou and bon chance.