Living on a main route to the local elementary school sucks in so many ways, especially if you’re already not a fan of kids in general. On their way home from school, throngs of unsupervised children rampage down my block, stomping in my tree pit (only if there’s something nice to destroy, of course), yelling (even when right next to each other), and the worst part of all of it, tossing their trash up over their shoulders — the way their parents and older siblings seem to have taught them.
I try to clean up after them, but I have just come to terms with the fact that there will always be trash for me to pick up. I thought outside of quota sweeps that Sanitation recognized the futility in demanding that I keep the sidewalk and gutter spotless at all times — I haven’t had a ticket since the last one in October, which I successfully fought.
But, oddly, a week after I did a serious cleaning and de-weeding of my tree pit area, I got a ticket for an “accumulation” of trash in front of the house. I’ll fight it using the precedent of the former owner’s ticket dismissals, adding my own to the pile, so it’s a mere annoyance. But as I was cleaning the other day, grumbling to myself about the perversity of being expected to pay a fine for other people’s slovenly habits, I began to realize most of the trash is junk food wrappers. Tootsie Rolls, Twizzlers, Pop Tarts, ice cream bars, Slim Jims, cake wrappers, and even the Armor All used to shine up the SUV’s that keep them from walking more than two blocks to go anywhere — wrappers for all of these things that give b-cups to Bushwick’s pre-pubescent boys are blowing all over the streets. The inner-city obesity “epidemic” — a strange word for something you can’t catch — is represented in the trash I am being fined for.
Here’s a tip: walk somewhere, do a damn jumping jack, and put the Ho-Hos down you fat hos. Then maybe you can stop treating the rest of us to that most Bushwick of confections — the muffin top.
mopar September 23rd, 2008 at 11:08 am
Very funny. Everyone’s skinny on my block (can’t afford junk food) but the trash is just as deep. Mostly business cards and newspapers left as advertising.
Matt C September 23rd, 2008 at 12:01 pm
Ugh, yeah… I’ve been getting more and more sick of watching everyone just throw their trash right on the ground. I really don’t get it. Someone is crossing the street, there’s a trashcan literally steps away (many times in their path) and with no consideration, toss something right onto the ground. WHY? What purpose does this serve? Everyone seems to have so much pride in their ‘hood Brooklyn-wide. Why would you trash it? Just yesterday I was walking down Bushwick Ave, a fellow was ahead of me, turned his head back, looked me directly in the eye and crumpled his soda can and tossed it one the ground. Is no one ashamed?
Dresden September 23rd, 2008 at 1:49 pm
Remember attractive people?
Bushwick is gross on a lot of levels.
Ever hear of eating a carrot? Or an apple?
Man September 23rd, 2008 at 2:38 pm
With the exception of the Armor All I think the picture you showed could have been from 1978 or 1958.
The food hasn’t changed the wrappers are slightly different. My precious junk food is not to blame for the fatties it’s the parents laziness.
As for the trash on the way to my L train on Friday afternoon I saw a banana peel, two yogurt containers and the NY Times.
Just because the trash is higher quality doesn’t mean I like seeing it. (Hint,hint)
chillinoncentral September 23rd, 2008 at 8:51 pm
I’ll bet that most of the litter we see is within just a few feet of the many trash cans that are all over the place. It just doesn’t take a whole lot of effort to bring your lazy butt to a garbage can to throw away your garbage… and, imagine all the exercise you can get out of doing it. I remember when our streets were worse in the ‘70’s… the area streets always had little cesspools of litter everywhere. But, we are way past that now, or at least I thought so. I’m surprised at all the gum spots you see around school blocks. Students seem to just spit it out on the ground! I’ve always been conscious of disposing of anything properly, especially gum, so that no one steps on it and mess up their shoes… and no one ever has to be watching me because putting trash where it belongs is simply a basic consideration.
pixie September 24th, 2008 at 12:10 am
I’m very fortunate to live on a block that doesn’t have any garbage floating around but my old block (Troutman and Knickerbocker) was a pit. The kids in my building would throw garbage in the hallways and their parents never told them to pick it up. Once there was a container of yogurt with a pile of bright pink strawberry goo next to it. After a couple days someone finally picked up the container but never cleaned up the yogurt. When I moved out a month later it was still there but had become a permenant spot on the floor.
pierogiconpollo September 24th, 2008 at 12:52 pm
i usually say “excuse me sir, you dropped something!” in spanish if necessary. i like “excuse me ma’am, but you forgot something!” when people don’t clean up their dog’s shit.
they either pick it up or give me a dirty look, but i like to think that they might be a little embarrassed about their behavior and give it a second thought next time. optimistic naivete, i know it.
Matt September 24th, 2008 at 8:11 pm
Living across from the school, I’d say that every other day I find a near empty bottle of brite-blue high fructose drink in front of my house.
In general it hasn’t been so bad so I thought ‘hey, maybe the kids are growing up a bit’. But then I caught my neighbor cleaning up my sidewalk. Heh. Payback for me shoveling their sidewalk I guess.
don September 25th, 2008 at 4:30 pm
don’t forget about the mountains of lottery tickets
sweetser September 25th, 2008 at 6:35 pm
trash on the streets is really my only complaint with bushwick. and Matt C is right on the money – why would you want your neighborhood to look like a dump? i once saw an angry looking dude kick over one of the garbage cans on knickerbocker, which spewed trash as it rolled towards the street. also, as for the gum spots near the school, most NYC schools have strict “no gum chewing” policies, and if the students are afraid of getting in trouble they’ll just spit it out before entering. very lame.
Man September 25th, 2008 at 6:46 pm
“…most NYC schools have strict “no gum chewing” policies, and if the students are afraid of getting in trouble …” wrote sweetser
Funniest line of the week.
sweetser September 25th, 2008 at 6:50 pm
go on…?
FormerRidgewoodite September 29th, 2008 at 9:46 am
It’s not just in urban areas. I now live in a suburban area, and I was at a drive thru for a fast food restaurant, and the woman (an older woman) in the car in front of me all of a sudden through some wrapper or something out of her window. It pissed me off so much that I yelled out my car window “Hey, you dropped something!!”. She was so taken back and flustered that you could see her wiggling back and forth in her car, then she opened her door, and actually picked it up, and yelled, “It was just a tissue”, then because she was so flustered, she accidentally dropped it again, and picked it up when her door was open, and still wiggling back and forth…..
It made my day…..