After the butchery of last year’s Glorious Knotweed Reconquista, I have once again unleashed horrors upon the unwanted inhabitants of my back yard. A tree service came on Friday to finish off the two sickly ghetto trees (ailanthus altissima) that blotted out so much light without the benefit of significant greenery…or attractiveness. The grinning chainsaw-wielding professional scooted up the 40-foot trees and began wildly hacking at the brittle limbs. Tree parts crashed to the ground and shattered, sending pieces into my neighbor’s impeccably manicured yard. When it was done, literal tons of wood lie in a huge pile. I paid my mercs and they left me to survey the battlefield.

It was Sunday before it was nice enough out to begin sorting and stacking the wood. I have a pile each of kindling and small logs for my neighbor’s pizza oven. I made two piles of trunk logs — one for various pieces of furniture, and another for garden borders. I could have had the wood taken away, but it would have been double the cost. To have the stumps ground would have been quadruple, but I don’t mind them — they’ll look good with some planted pots on top.

I was only trying to level the ground between the two stumps yesterday, but the rake kept snagging half-rotten linens. In 10 minutes I filled a trash bag full of curtains and sheets, in addition to the tens of diapers. I can confirm absolutely that diapers, at least old ones, do not biodegrade.

The striving mulberry growing in the shadow of the now-vanquished monsters has emerged as the proud, orange-barked centerpiece of the yard. We’re now rushing to clean up so I can plant stuff and enjoy the yard this summer. We decided most of the trash will remain underground — we dug down for six feet in one spot and the soil was still not clean, so it seemed pointless. We’ll have a pretty veneer of garden over the strata of garbage. I’m sure that’s a metaphor for something, but I’ll leave that to you to dig up.