Money wasted on this map could have been used to buy produce.

Just when you thought the people of this city had endured quite enough paternalism, our benevolent overseers have now found it fit to tell us we don’t eat the way they say we should. Bushwick is, as usual, alarmingly red on the map of areas in the city which rate poorly. Lower Manhattanites, along with people in some other areas in the outer boroughs, apparently eat a bureaucrat-endorsed amount of veggies daily. Less-obedient people in other neighborhoods apparently do not eat “enough,” with up to 26% of people having responded to the one-day survey that on the previous day, they had eaten no fresh fruits or vegetables. That’s “400% less than Manhattanites!” I can see the stats-mongers screaming.

To remedy this, the city wants to recruit people to run fruit stands in these “underserved” neighborhoods, so that the people there will buy and eat the approved amount of fresh foods and thereby have lower rates of everything bad. They are calling it the Green Carts program. A few problems I will note:

There already are stores selling fresh produce all over these neighborhoods. Within a few blocks of my house, I have a full-size grocery store selling tons of fresh fruit, a handful of proper storefront fruit stands, and tens of bodegas which, despite legends suggesting the contrary, have plenty of fresh produce for the veggie enthusiast who has no time to walk another two blocks to the fruit stand and needs her mango right this second. However, I do recognize that Bushwick is not flooded with fresh produce like some other, more veggie-craving neighborhoods. Which leads us to another pertinent observation.

Certain cultures resident in this city simply do not tend to eat as many, or even the same, vegetables as the cultures the bureaucrats based their survey on. This suggests two obvious things.

One is that the survey itself is biased in favor of a group of people who already eat a certain way — usually more-affluent white and Asian people — and assumes that all the other backwards savages need to be essentially pelted in the face with bok choy for their own good.

The other is that fruits and vegetables are not overflowing in abundance on every corner in Bushwick and, say, Bed-Stuy, because they are not as much in demand as in fancy-pants Manhattan or what I imagine is a vegetarian-heavy Jackson Heights.

Therefore, this program is likely to fail in getting Bushwickers to eat more vegetables. Fear not, career paper-pushers and bleeding-hearts: I can still see the city taking credit in 5 years or so, when they survey the neighborhood again after a heavy spell of gentrification and then declare the program a success because the same geographic area 5 years earlier ate far less vegetables.