I guess it’s a NY Mag Tuesday: This guy is the ultimate hipster douche. He moved to Bushwick in search of a mock of 1970s Soho? Ugh. And then was shocked to learn that you need to be somewhat alert — take those ipod buds out — so that people don’t use surprise attacks to mug you? UGH. And then after being mugged moved back to allegedly crime-free San Francisco the next day?

Good riddance, tard. I notice you moved to New York TWENTY years ago, which means you’re probably at least pushing 40. 40-year-olds hold down jobs and have investments, they don’t live in shithole apartments in industrial districts.