DeKalb and Cypress. Is it Bushwick? Is it Ridgewood? Is it BOTH? *head explodes*

A few people sent me this bit from the New York Times‘ insipid “City Room” blog: Is Ridgewood the New East Bushwick? Fucking gag me. Nothing could be more expressive of the Times‘ complete disconnect from most things non-Manhattan than their inability to grasp the concept of modern Bushwick. (Except maybe thinking an address in downtown Brooklyn is in East Williamsburg.)

I’m going to spell it out simply for them: a loft building that is a 3-second sprint from the Brooklyn border, filled with the same types of people who live in Bushwick proper and the part of East Williamsburg also colloquially considered to be Bushwick, is, for all intents and purposes, Bushwick. Yes, it is politically in Queens. The sum total effect of this political difference is that to pick up a package from the post office (do people still use USPS for packages?), they have to go to one in Ridgewood instead of in Bushwick. That’s about it.

But not so fast, Jennifer 8, much of Ridgewood may not be considered Bushwick. It depends on the block, and it will certainly depend on what the future holds for the neighborhood. As of right now, Ridgewooders are not all cozying up to Bushwick. It seems a neighborhood defined by the people who actually live there and not based on some arbitrary line on a plat book is too much for a proper reporter, albeit one assigned to the journalistic equivalent of latrine duty, to fathom.

Poking fun at neighborhood relabeling is tired. Will the Times think it’s just as clever when it inevitably announces Glendale to be East East East Williamsburg? Oh the smarm will be so thick, won’t it just?