#1 — $1400 — loft — This is cheap for a genuine loft. Top floor, tin ceilings, great windows… it’s a bit ratty-lookin but is set up in such a way that makes me think they don’t care what you do in there at all. Which is good for a person who appreciates that. Right ON the L. PETS OK Hart and Wyckoff

#2 — $1450 — 3 bedroom — Cheap! Newly renovated “prewar” (like 97% of Bushwick) brick building. Looks nice from what I can tell, basic new kitchen, very cool bathroom. They seem very strict, and there’s a fee, but this is a great deal, and the screening will guarantee good neighbors. This area is actually decent and very close to the Myrtle-Wyckoff L. Putnam and Irving

#3 — $1375 — 2 bedroom — Looks like a real residential building in the Morgantown area. Railroad, pretty basic, but looks nice enough and it’s a good location for the right kind of person: close to all hipster cultural attractions and the L. I question that it’s “less than 10 minutes into Manhattan” — maybe if the train does that thing where it clears the tunnel in like 90 seconds, which it sometimes does. Thames “off the Morgan and Jefferson L stops”

#4 — $4500 — 5 bedrooms — It’s the Brewer’s Mansion on Bushwick Avenue — I guess nobody can get an exclusive on this thing. You can buy it, or you can rent it! “Picture MTV cribs!!” Please. Anyway, it’s certainly a unique product in the city, forget Bushwick. Pile it with roommates and you have a pretty awesome place to throw insane parties, and who’s gonna call 311 on you in your own house? Linden and Bushwick

#5 — $900 — studio — Somebody might be interested in living at the very end of Bushwick: it’s very cheap, and these last row of blocks before the cemetery are actually very nice. And the L and JZ are both very close…even if the L has to loop all the way around Bushwick before going into the City. (I know I broke the “rules” by choosing something without a photo, but it’s a 400sqft studio — what is there to it?) PETS OK Pilling and Bushwick